A Stinky Situation — Part I

This morning at 4:02 AM, you would have found my wife and me standing barefoot in the garage, huddled close together whiffing a gallon bottle of vinegar, practically weeping and wondering whether we’d last the morning.

What could cause this descent into madness, this headlong voyage into raving lunacy?

This:

We have a skunk living in the yard. We’ve known there was a skunk in the area for some time, but up until now, it was fairly innocuous.

We first saw our little friend at the end of last summer, while we were sitting outside enjoying the warmth of the air and the first meager points of starlight at the end of the day.

Then out from under the far deck (the one that used to be a play structure) came a small, black, fluffy figure scurrying toward us. At first I thought nothing of it. Our cat is a small, black, fluffy figure. But the telltale double stripe of pure white along the back and up the tale quickly brought me to another conclusion. Pepe Le Pew had moved in under the patio. He disappeared under our patio deck.

Slowly and quietly, we got up and edged back toward the patio door. I did not want to face the business end of that thing or give it any cause to deliver its payload. My belief was, live and let live: if we didn’t disturb the skunk, he/she wouldn’t disturb us. Right?

Wrong.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, when we started to detect that unmistakable odor wafting in on the night breeze. It was formidable. And nauseating.

So, in true engineer style, I began to research ways to neutralize the scent without too much cost or difficulty.

Good ol’ Internet, it gave me the answers. I found that the main stinky components of skunk scent, butyl and crotyl mercaptans (also known as thiols), can be oxidized into a non-stinky substance fairly easily. This can be done with a solution of bleach, laundry detergent and water sprayed outside on surfaces like decks and porches and stuff. Another solution is white vinegar and laundry detergent delivered with a pump sprayer. To get the scent off of a pet or clothing, use 3% hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and liquid detergent.

Interesting information to keep in the back of my mind.

Meanwhile, the skunk smell seemed to get worse every few days.

So the weekend before last my wife filled up a 15 gallon wastebasket with a gallon of bleach and enough water to nearly reach the top. This she dumped over the deck at the most smelly location. The entire backyard was filled with the piquant aroma of Clorox. Not the most pleasant smell, but at least it was fresh and clean.

And for a few days, we were free of that scent. Life was good.

But Pepe came back for another round, and he hit harder. The back yard was rendered almost unbearable. It became a chore simply to water the plants, and an impossibility to admire the beautiful blossoms of our wisteria.

This time, my wife sprayed under the deck and around the area with both the bleach solution and vinegar, hoping to deliver a one-two punch.

And for a short time, the air was again fresh. Well, fresher, anyway.

Set back but not defeated, Pepe returned. He met our challenge with fortitude and cunning.

Tomorrow I shall continue our tale, as we were meted a fresh new measure of malodorous misery.