Deflated

Sometimes, as a dad, you realize too late that your bluster was unwarranted. And you get a little lesson in humility.

During the time between Halloween and Thanksgiving of last year, I had one of those days.

Actually I’d had several in succession but this was a real doozy. I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say that I was stressed about upcoming holidays and the busy-ness they bring, and on top of that I was presently in the throes of some mysterious virus or other. I was drained of every erg my body had stored.

That night I put Michael to bed amidst his protests, although they were relatively subdued.

After reading two stories, saying a prayer with him and doing the standard tuck-in, I stood up and said what I usually say while turning out the light “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.” Sometimes I’ll toss in a few other words of wisdom, like “stay in your bed” or “if you have to go potty, get up and do it – don’t scream,” or “no playing your Leapster right now.” This time, though, I left it at that.

I shut the door and headed downstairs.

Then I stopped, thinking I might have heard something. I listened for a moment, then dismissed it as my own labored breathing. I gave a few test wheezes to check. Hmmm… no, it didn’t sound like that exactly… So I continued downstairs.

I was finally feeling well enough to eat a little bite of toast with ginger ale, so I went into the kitchen and popped some bread into the toaster.

Michael’s Mommy announced: “He’s crying up there.”

‘Oh, for the love of Pete,’ I thought to myself. ‘What the heck is it now?’

I stormed upstairs, and tossed his door open.

“What?” I growled.

He sniveled a little and said something unintelligible.

“WHAT?” I said, a little louder. I was in no mood. Am I ever? Probably not.

“You (mumble mumble mumble) morning…” he said.

“WHAT ABOUT MORNING?” I shouted, in an effort to get him to speak up and enunciate.

“I want you to say ‘See you in the morning!’” he cried.

“Oh,” I said, taken aback. “See you in the morning.”

“See you in the morning!” he countered, and rolled over, snuggling into his comforter.

If I could have done it without making any noise, I would have rammed my forehead into a wooden beam repeatedly.

Once again, I came to a butterfly hunt loaded for bear.

So one of my resolutions this year is to lead with gentleness, and bring the big guns only when they’re needed instead of trying to use them as a nuclear deterrent.

And I haven’t forgotten to say “See you in the morning” at bedtime since.