I don’t have any great wisdom to impart today.
I don’t have any lofty observations.
The fact is, fatherhood is most readily experienced in the day-to-day, detail work.
Like planting one blade of grass at a time, day after day, year after year… then turning around much later in your life to see green rolling hills stretching into the distance.
Your experience as a dad is down in the dirt, getting soil under your fingernails, getting a sore back and knobby knees, praying for rain and pulling up the weeds that sprout. You continue on with it because you must. Whether you’re a stay-at-home or a work-outside kind of dad, you press on.
Setting consistent limits, and sticking to them. Holding down your job, no matter what it is, to make sure there’s either bread on the table, or a well-run home to be sure there’s a clean table to put it on. Dealing with kids who squabble constantly. Answering endless questions, even if the questions have no logical answers. Helping with homework. Putting away the same toys, every night, no matter how many millions of pieces there are. Facing hard decisions, and making tough choices. Dealing with the consequences of some of your kids’ bad choices. Discovering that in many cases you’re considered little more than a cash cab.
And while it doesn’t get easier (in many ways, fatherhood gets more and more difficult as the years go by, as your children grow from helpless infants to obliging youngsters to rebellious teenagers), you become more accustomed to it. You learn new skills, and gain new strength. You stretch and grow and become a wiser, stronger man. I’ve often said parenthood is like an evolutionary step in a person’s life, one that I am very glad to have taken.
There are many aspects of fatherhood that deserve great dissertation, such as love, kindness, protection, mentoring, disciplining.
But in my experience, fatherhood boils down to perseverance. No matter what comes your way, you forge ahead. Each day, you get down and plant those blades of grass, one at a time.
Just keep planting, dads.
Happy Fathers Day!!! You are the perfect daddy for our kids. You will shape Michael into be a wonderful husband and father and you are just the kind of man our daughters should look for in a husband.
I thank God every day for bringing us together!!! You are the perfect husband and father.
@wife — Thanks sweetie pie! I hope to be just what you say. I'm glad I've done okay so far!
Perserverance. Indeed . . .
heh … "I don't have any great wisdom to impart today."
No offense Tom, but you're a rotten liar. You've much wisdom to impart seemingly even when you say you have none. Happy Father's day.
@cheek — thanks for stopping by!
@Chuck — I started out the right way… it just got out of hand. Blogging tends to make me ruminate against my own will.
I'm with Chuck – ruminate away. I'm sharing this post with all the dads in my life!
Well put, Tom. Some days the yard looks better than others. Happy Fathers Day to you!
happy fathers day . love your blog
Lovely post! You imparted some pretty good wisdom that either a dad or mom can follow. It's obvious from MichaelsMommy's comment that you've planted well. Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day (belated). That was a really great analogy. I just wish you could go out and buy a bag of weed of feed to spread once every 6 weeks like I do for my lawn.
Nice post! I hope you had a great day!
This is a wonderful post. We are lucky lucky men to have this journey ahead of us. Without it I think this would all be boring. There is always something new around the corner. Hope you had a great day.
the most amazing thing about your dad-hood is that you had NO ROLE MODEL, most of your readers probably do not know that your dad vacated the premises when you were only one and your beleagured mother probably whined constantly about that if i remember her correctly.
Your brother and I think you are an amazing human being, so there.
Perseverance and patience seem to be the by words to fatherhood. Great post….
@cuz — thank you! I appreciate that.
@NukeDad — you're right about that. Some days, I can't keep up with the weeds. Happy Father's Day to you too!
@Mistress pink — thank you! I appreciate your visit.
@surprised — thanks for the encouraging word.
@WeaselMomma — you know, it just doesn't work that way for parenthood. There's no substitute for plain old hard work.
@Melisa — I did indeed! It's worthy of its own post, actually.
@DCUrbanDad — We are very blessed indeed. I was just telling my wife yesterday that without the kids, life would not be nearly as interesting.
@Anonymous — Thanks mom, and brother. And I don't recall your whining about our situation often, if at all. I'm very happy to have my dad in my life now, even if we can only get together once in a while.
@Mike — Those two are the things I've had to learn the most. I'm still working on the patience part.
Well said, Tom! I hope you had a wonderful Father's Day. You deserve it!
As said by others, well said! Happy Belated Fathers Day!