Bonnie and Mike

It’s the morning rush; daddy is making coffee in preparation to head out the door to work.

Michael is playing with mommy on the couch. I’m trapped at the coffee maker and can only listen to their interchange.

“Are you going to take me to church camp, mommy?”

“Yes, in just a little while.”

“Can I drive with you?”

“Well, no, you have to ride in your car seat like always,” she said.

“Pleeeeeeease?” he asked in his typical attempt to wheedle his whim into her permission. Please note that Michael has NEVER ONCE ridden in the car without being firmly secured in a five-point car seat. Never. Where he gets the idea that maybe this time it’ll be okay to skirt the law, I don’t know.

“No, Michael. The policeman will get mad!”

“Aw, mom!” he complains.

“Drive with me here! Let’s go!” she says, forming a “car” with her lap and setting him on the edge of her knees. “Vroom! Vroom! We’re driving!” They both have a grip on the imaginary steering wheel.

“Yay! I’m steering with you!” Michael is totally into the game now.

“Uh, oh! A policeman! We’d better go really fast!” my wife says, grinning at me.

“What?” I shout from across the room, not pleased with this particular turn of events.

“Don’t worry, I’ll shoot him! Bang!” Michael says, now fully engaged in an imaginary felony. “There, now we can keep going!”

My mouth is dropped open in utter horror, and Michael’s Mommy is choking back laughter.

“So, we’re training him to end up on ‘COPS’, then?” I ask, incredulous.

I get no answer, as my wife is laughing way too hard.

If he ends up on Fox wearing a set of handcuffs and no shirt with a cop’s knee in his back, you’ll at least know why. I’m not bailing him out.

10 Responses to Bonnie and Mike

  1. idfj nva,.iwen.a
    Wait a minute, eyes all fuzzy from tears of laughter, this has got to be the coup de grace or something like it, the sine qua non or some other nonsense.
    what a boy, what a set of parents!!!
    Love Grandma B

  2. Eric the Bolton

    The other night on the way home from the store.. My 3 y/o daughter informed me that we were being chased by the cops. She was telling me which was to turn to evade them.

    These are good times.

  3. michaelsmommy

    Having fun! Please know that I have total respect for police (law enforcement). My father was a sergeant for the Yakima Co. Police Dept for 30years. Did have fun getting out of speeding tickets, etc…. nothing too bad.

  4. michaelsmommy

    Hey, just think of the odd google hits you will get with this post!!!

  5. @Mom — Latin, French or any other language, Mikey's pushing the envelope.

    @Eric — If she shows you the correct technique for doing a bootlegger's turn, take notes.

    @Wife — I know, it's all in fun. We have a few more years until he gets his license. As far as Google, I think I'm just going to ignore it for a week or so.

  6. And people say Grand Theft Auto III isn't educational. pfft.

  7. Argh! BusyDad beat me to it, I was going to ask if he was playing Grand Theft Auto when you weren't looking.

  8. surprised mom

    I'll bet Michael and your wife had a blast. I was laughing along with her.
    I'm sure he won't end up on COPS. Well, almost sure . . .
    And wouldn't you be surprised if ended up being one of the cops????
    Do all kids know that wheedle tone? Mine used it when they were younger, too.

  9. Ah, that's funny! Most kids want to grow up to be a fireman or a vet or something. Michael aspires to be on the FBI most wanted list. Love It!

  10. @BusyDad — you should see what he's been able to accomplish after playing Guitar Hero Legends Of Rock.

    @PJ — if he is, he must have squirreled it away to his room because I can't find it.

    @Surprised — what I'm amazed about is that he makes a gun with his fingers. We never taught him that. Certainly his sisters don't. Must be in boy genes.

    @WeaselMomma — at least he has big aspirations.