I really need to buy myself a sense of humor.
The fact that my wife laughed at my irritation this morning is a clue upon which I ought to ruminate at length.
You see, I was in a rush to get out the door. This is my normal operating mode on any given weekday.
I knew Michael was up, as I practically tripped over him as he lay there on the stairs, enrobed in every blanket he owns, like a giant, pulsating parasite drawing nutrients out of the carpeting.
“Not a good place to be, sport,” I said, stepping over the multi-hued mass and continuing on my way. I heard him bump down each tread on his way to the landing. He crawled over to the chair in front of the computer to watch the screensaver as I prepared a simple breakfast for his mom and myself. She was on her way out as well, having an early doctor’s appointment.
“I’m going back upstairs, Michael,” I said, but he remained at the computer.
My wife and I dined in our room while watching the news.
“Is Michael up?” she asked me.
“Yes. He wanted to hang around downstairs and look at the computer. He’s probably shutting it down or something,” I said.
We finished our breakfast and I took the breakfast tray downstairs, passing Michael as he came up.
“I need to get you dressed, little man. Then you can have breakfast so we can get you to school,” I told him. He did not say a word.
In the kitchen, as I took the dishes off the tray, I heard the bedroom door shut.
This is not a good sign. When Michael gets into our bedroom, he thinks he can set himself up to watch his favorite channel, Sprout, without restriction of any kind. He knows the rule on weekdays is that he has to be dressed and fed and completely ready to go to school before he can even look at the TV.
I went upstairs to investigate, and our bedroom door was locked. I heard Michael moving just on the other side of the door, followed by his quick retreating footsteps.
“Michael! You unlock this door!” I tried the knob a few times for emphasis.
“I’m watching Sprout, daddy!” he said, gleefully. He needed only add “neener, neener, neener” to complete his taunt.
Seething, I went to fetch the door lock pin from its secret hiding place (in Michael’s room – shhh, don’t tell him), and after trying it, remembered that the door lock to mommy & daddy’s bedroom doesn’t use that kind of lock. I’d need to go all the way to the garage to get the jeweler’s screwdrivers to open it.
I shouted again through the door: “Michael! Open this door!”
This time he answered, and unlocked it. I think he knew he wouldn’t ultimately win this battle.
I immediately turned off the TV.
“Get downstairs now, mister. No TV for you at all this morning,” I said.
From the bathroom I heard my wife say “I told you you’d get in trouble, Michael.”
She’d been in there the whole time.
It was only later when I explained that Michael had locked the door that she laughed.
I’m glad she found it humorous.
I’d hate to think my irritation was for no good purpose.
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January 25th, 2010 - 11:54 am
Sounds like SOMEBODY needs a vacation!
I also have had trouble laughing at things lately. It’s called being overworked.
(MD) Vacation? What is this “Vacation” of which you speak? Truly: the times when Michael’s Mommy and I do actually get time off, like REAL time off, we get anxious, and never know what to do with ourselves. Once we ended up painting Michael’s bedroom all week. Hurray for time off.
January 25th, 2010 - 11:57 am
No no. You’re right. It’s scary to think my 2yo boy would lock the door. I had a sense of humor when my boy indeed shut off the computer and caused it to crash, and I have a sense of humor when we’re about to leave and he runs upstairs to turn the TV on. But if he locks the door, who’s gonna be there if something goes wrong? Caillou?
(MD) Maybe he’d learn not to do it again. Caillou would never do something as mean as lock his parent’s bedroom door. I don’t think kids think these things through completely.
January 25th, 2010 - 12:19 pm
Sorry man, that’s funny! Our bedrooms don’t lock, and luckily Abby’s not big enough to deal with TV stuff on her own yet. Time will change that, I’m sure…
(MD) Every day they grow a little more, and every day they bring new surprises and delights as they discover how they can alter their environment and push their parent’s buttons. Just be on your guard, and keep a Leatherman in your pocket.
January 25th, 2010 - 1:50 pm
The sad thing is I didn’t hear that you were locked out. I was busy styling my hair and didn’t hear a thing until you came in and got Michael. That funny boy is always up to something. Don’t we have our door key thing in the linen closet??? I thought that is where you put it.
(Hubby) Yeah, we probably do – but as I might have mentioned, my memory isn’t so good lately. And my memory is bad. Oh, and… what were we talking about?
January 25th, 2010 - 4:48 pm
At least Michael’s mommy had an excuse. I’m fairly certain my wife would have been snickering with her hand over her mouth.
(MD) Well, I get that every now and then… but just enough to keep me from taking myself too seriously.
January 25th, 2010 - 4:59 pm
My sense of humor has been missing of late, too. But, I must admit I have absolutely no sense of humor in the a.m. at all, so this would have driven me around the bend. I am feeling sympathy for you at this moment. I did think it was a wee bit funny that Michael’s Mommy was in the bathroom and didn’t hear all of this going on. I’m so glad that my daughters don’t lock my or their bedroom doors. I’d probably get so mad we’d be missing a door. See what I mean by missing sense of humor . . .
(MD) I have been known to twist a locked doorknob clean off… the kids know that doors are a privilege and not a right. They went through a phase a few years back where no door had a lock on it – even the bathroom. They learned to respect the rules pretty quick.
January 25th, 2010 - 11:33 pm
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January 26th, 2010 - 3:24 am
It’s not that you need a sense of humor, yours is plenty fine. You, like I, just need a vacation to recharge the batteries that fuel it.
(MD) Two people have suggested vacation. That’s good enough for me.
January 26th, 2010 - 10:24 am
I have a tendency to overreact to things when I’m in a cranky mood. Unfortunately, work has made me a bit too cranky lately. Thankfully, my kids know how to make me smile.
(MD) Yeah, I’ve been letting my work get to me too. I’m glad your kids are good at lifting you up and out, that’s the joy of family right there.
January 26th, 2010 - 1:38 pm
Our son is still at the stage where something he does wrong can still make you laugh. I don’t know why but sometimes screaming fits are funny. It is probably because I am going insane.
(MD) Yeah, this is the “oh, isn’t he cute when he’s misbehaving?” phase. The insanity might be a good buffer for it though, assuming you can make it stick.
January 26th, 2010 - 3:57 pm
Thank you, Tom, for this entertaining episode. I can just picture the whole scene from the blanketed bundle in the stairway to the locked bedroom door.
(MD) He’s always good for a laugh, even if I don’t get the joke at first.
January 28th, 2010 - 4:22 am
Well, everyone needs a good chuckle every now and then. I have a hard time finding that chuckle in the morning too!
January 28th, 2010 - 12:40 pm
Do you actually believe that’s true? You did a superb job expressing your point, but I think you should put some more thought into this argument and perhaps post an answer to the other side of this story.
(MD) I couldn’t resist letting this bit of spam through. I just love these spambots and their comment generators. Okay, here’s the other side of the story, just to satisfy this bot, spamming for some home microbrew thing: “Daddy told me he’d be getting my clothes on, but mommy was in the bedroom and she always lets me watch sprout whenever I want, and I’m a big helper to her when she’s getting ready to go. I ask her all sorts of questions and make sure to stand on the clean clothes so she can see them better, and I make her get me water and things so she knows I love her. I locked the door because daddy always breaks up our fun time together. Besides, he should be going to work. Mommy can take me to school. Okay, okay… I’ll open the door. You don’t have to get so angry about it, daddy. I was helping mommy do her hair by watching TV for her.”