Comments on: Trouble. With a capital “M”

By: michaelsownmom

michaelsownmom — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:57:57 +0000

So this is the 3rd good day in a row for Michael!! He had some issues with some classmates but he was able to tell the teachers and talk with is friends. Way to go Michael! They are also going to make him a chart so when he has a good day he can get a reward at home and he can see how good his day was.

By: michaelsownmom

michaelsownmom — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:30:09 +0000

You will be happy to know that Michael had a great day at school! When he was feeling mad he went to talk to a teacher. She had him feel how hard his heart was pounding and she explained that his heart starts beating fast when he is mad. She told him to breathe and feel his heart calm down. That was a wonderful thing and may be the ticket. Maybe we need to focus on helping Michael identify the physical signs that he is getting mad and teach him ways to calm himself down. It was a good thing to have 3 teachers come to me and report what a good day Michael had!!

By: Otter

Otter — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:28:49 +0000

I can only offer my prayers for you and your family. Hope things turn around.

By: ann

ann — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:53:32 +0000

Now that I have spent a few days with Michael, I am wondering if there is more to the story to misquote Paul Harvey. For instance, calling someone a loser indicates to me that perhaps a sister or two has used that expression and Michael is merely parroting it because at his age, he does not fully understand the meaning of that word.
Also the threatening behavior may have been misinterpreted or taken out of context.
I refuse to believe that he is a cruel and unfeeling bully, it does not compute!!
The next day was such a good day and he knew it so that was a relief as well.
Gramann

(MD) Yes, he’s heard the term “loser” from his sisters. But we’ve talked about it with all of them, and that it’s not okay to say. My concern here is that he keeps using it, tossing it out at random, with no regard for what it’s doing to his target. And I don’t think he is trying to be a bully, but he could easily be heading in that direction – the direction of unthinking, uncaring, remorseless and non-empathetic. I’ve made it my goal to daily steer him away from that. I don’t think his threatening behavior was misinterpreted or taken out of context. It was witnessed fully by the teachers, and his mom and I have witnessed this kind of behavior ourselves at home. I know you love him and think the world of him, but what you saw was all the best.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:16:05 +0000

As you're not a father for the first time and I'm sure you've been through this with your other kids, the only advice I have is to continue prayer and keep guiding Michael. Some kids just go through phases. Hang in there...

(MD) We did go through this with Sister L, his "twin" - and though she still has her moments, for the most part she's turned out just fine. So we have some hope right there.

By: seashore

seashore — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:24:58 +0000

Facing the daily note is so overwhelming. Keep using prayer and looking for answers. When Boy was at the height of school issues, I spent so much time in the parenting section of the library, I knew which books were fluff, and which were helpful on sight!

(MD) We'll probably be wearing out the carpet in that section of our library too.

By: Darrin

Darrin — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:59:08 +0000

If there's one thing I've learned with my three kiddo's.. it's that they all felt the need to "push it' by testing their independence and boundaries. Each one did so at very different ages, in different ways. My youngest was and is the most challenging of the three. She's extremely independent, and can have quite a temper sometimes. However.. the older they get, the greater their power of reasoning gets, and she continues to progress. The fact that you're so involved, loving, and patient with him, tells me you guys are going to be okay.

(MD) Thanks, Darrin. It's true about their increasing power of reasoning, and that's what I'm banking on.

By: Grandma K.

Grandma K. — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:08:36 +0000

Hopefully Michael will grow out of this mean, bullying stage before picks on the wrong kid and gets his clock cleaned. When he gets older like 5th, 6th, 7th grade, an effective way to treat not behaving at school is for the parent(s) to take a day off work and attend school with the child. Have a folding chair handy so you can sit right next to his desk and take it from class to class. Be his shadow. You are there to see to it that he behaves. You shouldn't have to do that more than once. Sister S. might be too old for that to be effective but she might be mortified enough to not skip class ever again!

(MD) I hope it doesn't come to a clock cleaning, but that might be the cure. As for the school shadow idea, I say Sheer Brilliance! If the opportunity arises, I'm doing it.

By: MichaelsOwnMommy

MichaelsOwnMommy — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:59:20 +0000

Well you only got the book once this week. I had it presented to me Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday!! I have been praying that Michael has a good day and that we can really have a good weekend! I think that Michael is just getting out his imp as a little kid and he will be the most wonderfullest teen on the face of this earth! Sister S was an easy little kid and now look at her: skipping class and not calling home when she is going to be late.

(Hubby) You're right... I shouldn't worry so much I guess. Still, I'm going to stick to my guns about keeping him on course, without becoming angry or distant myself. That's definitely not what he needs.

By: WeaselMomma

WeaselMomma — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:38:05 +0000

This is a tough road and I’m sorry that you have to walk it. I have no answers for you and the only suggestion I have to offer is to continue with prayer for direction and to ask your own mother for guidance.