Yesterday Michael, his mom and I drove up a short way into Washington to retrieve sister S, who’d spent a week with her dad.
Her first grand announcement as we pulled back onto the freeway headed for home:
“I’m a vegan now!”
“Good luck with that,” I replied.
See, this is a girl who only recently has maintained that she will one day be owning a combined Hot Topic / Taco Bell store. She loves steak, chicken and ice cream. She never met a piece of bacon that she didn’t like. The thought of her going one day without consuming an animal product in some form or another is by all rights absurd.
On the trip back, we prodded a little bit for more on the how, why, when and what of it.
“Who got you interested in being a vegan?”
“Mr. Sparklepants.” (Note: this is not his actual name. However, the name we were given is not any more believable.)
“And how old is Mr. Sparklepants?”
“He’s in seventh grade.”
A sterling credential if ever there was one.
“And is he a dietician?”
“No, but he knows what he’s talking about.”
“Give me an example.”
“Well, you can get all your Omega 3s and protein by eating walnuts.”
“Okay…”
“So that’s what I’ll do.”
“Just walnuts?”
“And Ramen.”
Sounds to me like she has the plan all worked out. She explained it to us with such confidence, we figure she must have notes:
“Where are you going to get your calcium?” her mom asked, after a brief pause.
“And your vitamin B?” I asked, immediately afterward.
“And your vitamin D?” her mom asked before I’d finished my question.
“I don’t know… I’ll figure it out.”
This is where we let it drop. My wife and I know when to step up for battle and when to stand down.
While we certainly support lofty goals and noble causes such as protecting animal rights, it is our job as parents to ensure that our children understand every aspect of what they’re getting themselves in to. Knowing sister S, we’re pretty sure she’s missing quite a big chunk of the picture. She latched onto one facet of the vegan lifestyle and a couple of tips and figures she’s ready to run with it.
I give it a week.
So I had Michael wake up sister S so she could get ready for tutoring. She is finally ready at 8:45 AM for her 9 AM class (with a 20 min walk to said class). I informed her she needed to eat. She asked if she could just eat when she gets home (around 1130-1145 in 90* F weather). I said no you need to eat now because its not healthy to wait that long. I told her to grab a Soy Joy that she had me buy 6 million of. No I can’t eat that it has egg she informed me. I told her that she needs to eat the Soy Joy because I bought them on her request and they are well over a $1.00 a bar and I am NOT just going to waste them. No one else in the house likes them and she is just not going to implement this absurd diet without any thought or research.
(Hubby) She can start her new lifestyle once she’s thoroughly completed her previous one. I’m with you.
Oh, how I feel your pain! Eldest just announced her new vegetarian status last week. She loves meat in all it’s glorious forms and as an athlete puts away more calories than Michael Moore, without the ill effects.
I said fine, but I am not making separate meals, adjusting my shopping habits or in any other way facilitating her whim. She must fix healthy, high calorie, high protein meals for herself.
I too give it a week.
(MD) One of the arguments we got to hear was “it’s *my* body!” which we countered with “until you’re out of the house and taking care of yourself, it’s not.”
Hang in there. I have it on good authority that they grow out of teenager-hood eventually.
I’m vegan, but in my house bacon is a vegetable
(MD) Bacon is one of many reasons I could not commit to vegan living. Butter is another. But by golly, I’ll support anyone who earnestly aspires to the vegan lifestyle, while I’m munching my bacon cheeseburger.
You’d be surprised: my friend’s daughter gave up meat in 10th grade when a teacher showed a movie about how some animals are treated, and is now a college sophomore, still no meat. The main problem? She eats CRAP. We call her a “Crap-i-terian”. Lots of junk food. And cheese.
I hope that S (and Eldest Weasel!) are lazy about it and not as stubborn.
(MD) Sister S is as stubborn as they come. But luckily she’ll actually eat vegetables and smile while doing so, so there is hope. She just needs to be edumacated on proper vegan nutrition. And she needs to stop throwing it in our faces every seventeen seconds.
Sister S has tipped her hand. She told me that she has a friend who WAS a vegan but is no longer because its too hard. She told me her plan is to do this vegan lifestyle longer than her friend. Soooo maybe it wont be life long. She then realized I was making non vegan chocolate chip cookies (the best ever if I do say so myself). She verbalized her displeasure because she can’t have any. I told her that if she were vegetarian that she could have some. I suggested that she can be vegan at school and public but vegetarian at home. She said NO!
(Hubby) Ah, the stubborn streak wins out this time. Well, we have the weekend to consider things over. I find it amusing that it’s boiling down to a simple contest. BTW – your cookies RULE!
No way that lasts very long. It may not even make a week. Personally I would rather be dead than be a vegan. How can one expect to enjoy life without animal fats for flavor.
(MD) Preach it, brother! So true! Like I told her, if God didn’t want us to eat animals, He wouldn’t have made them out of meat. Tasty, tasty meat.
I want your cookies!!
(MD) I’m sure she’d make some if you ask.
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