Chances are…

(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

If you have ever had to read a Lego Hero Factory book using a robot voice, chances are you have a little boy living with you.

If you occasionally find yourself with an army helmet suddenly and inexplicably perched on top of your head, it is likely you have a little boy in your home.

If you find spurious sticks in your car, it is a sure thing you share a home with a little boy.

If, as you clear the kitchen table, you come across rocks of various size and appearance, you do, without a doubt, have a little boy living with you.

If you traverse the hallway or family room and suddenly wince in pain only to discover that you have a little green plastic army man embedded in your foot, there is a strong possibility that you have a little boy in your home.

If you’ve ever been de-rezzed by a hard plastic Tron disc while making dinner, there is little room for doubt that there is a little boy in your home.

If you encounter someone vying for your wife’s affections in a most jealous manner, and this someone needs to stand on a chair in order to get kisses from mommy, and his mommy is all smiles and warm heart throughout, and you yourself can’t help but smile, then you certainly have a little boy in your house.

I’m sure some day I’ll miss the jealous affection-vying.

I can’t say the same for the army men. He has several squadrons stationed at battle lines all over the house, just waiting for an unwary foot.