Michael isn’t much of a reader yet. Years ago, his mom and I held out high hopes. At the age of two he knew all of his letters and their sounds, and was spelling out words he saw: EXIT, STOP, OFF, WALK, etc. We assumed he was going be reading Dostoevsky and Joyce in no [...]

Tom yawns and he sets the last button on his jammies. He stretches and climbs aboard the Sleepytime Express, ready for a good night’s trip through Slumbertown. “Good evening, sir,” the driver says. “Usual stop? 4:30 AM?” “Not this time, Joe! It’s Saturday! I’ll be going straight on through town,” Tom says with a sleepy [...]

Yesterday Michael, his mom and I drove up a short way into Washington to retrieve sister S, who’d spent a week with her dad. Her first grand announcement as we pulled back onto the freeway headed for home: “I’m a vegan now!” “Good luck with that,” I replied. See, this is a girl who only [...]

Sunday was a heck of a day. Not sure what his deal was, but Michael was in rare form, breaking previous records of impishness-per-minute. I was very much looking forward to my favorite part of the day, the time when I can tuck Michael in bed and basically be done with him. Bedtime rolled around [...]

Michael and his sisters and cousin are back from vacation at Grandma’s. I drove 173 miles to pick them up, 3+ hours of driving along the mighty Columbia river through alternately verdant and barren countryside, to reach a small town whose main claim to fame is being home to one of the few remaining coal-fired [...]

Michael is now employing the “truth hurts so I’ll lie” method to handling new and different foods. He says “I love it,” meaning “that was vile, but I get in trouble for being brutally honest about how disgusting certain foods are so I’ll say what I think you want to hear so you’ll leave me [...]

My wife and I have noticed recently that Michael has taken to questioning our driving abilities. Just about anywhere we go, seconds after we’ve left our neighborhood, Michael will begin loudly casting doubts upon our course: “Are you sure you know where you’re going?” “I don’t think this is the right way.” “We’re getting lost.” [...]

Same stepdaughter in an exchange with her mom: Mom: “So what’s your schedule tomorrow?” S: “I dunno.” Mom: “Aren’t you going to the movies with your friends?” S: “No, I’m not!” (delivered with the sort of derisive tone only a teen girl can properly construct) Mom: “But didn’t you tell me yesterday you were going [...]

Not too long ago, I recounted the tale of a difficult weekend. On Monday I was breathing a sigh of relief to be shut of it. Little did I know what level of Dante’s Inferno I’d be touring the very next weekend. I think it began when I announced plans for a family excursion to [...]

So how was your weekend? It rained here. My wife tells me it rains here every year at this time, and I just don’t seem to remember that. I don’t remember a lot of stuff. Every Memorial Day weekend I attempt to smoke a large hunk of meat for dinner. That is, I haul out [...]