Michael: “What’s for dinner, daddy?”
Daddy: “Nachos.”
Michael: “Yummy! I love nachos! What are nachos?”
Daddy: “Taco meat, tortilla chips, salsa, other stuff if you like.”
Michael: “No cheese?”
Daddy: “Not for you. I know better than that.”
Michael: “It’s like a taco?”
Daddy: “Basically. It’s a taco in another form. A deconstruction.”
(brief pause)
Michael: “You know, ‘nacho’ is Spanish for ‘taco’.”
Daddy, laughing: [...]

Michael’s currently enrolled in a private, in-home kindergarten. We decided against sending him to public school this year, and the decision was not made lightly.
We felt he wasn’t ready for public school yet. More accurately, it could be said that public school isn’t ready for Michael yet.
But whichever way you slice it, we’re looking for [...]

On our way to school and work, Michael and I step out of the front door and onto the porch. A bitter chill greets us as the wind whips along the walkway.
“Brrrr!” Michael says, pulling his coat close around him.
“Yes, it’s chilly! It’s the cold front from the east seeping over this way,” I explain [...]

I’m sitting on the couch, trying to pretend I’m not awake yet.
Michael suddenly runs to the bathroom to grab a wet wipe, and quickly returns and starts scrubbing down his little plastic slide.
“Don’t worry, daddy. I’ll get the germs off.”
“What?”
“It’s on the slide, right there,” he points to a black smudge at the end [...]

Sister S: “What are you making?”
Michael’s Mom: “Corn muffins.”
Sister S: “Ewww!”
Me: “Why ‘ewww’?”
Sister S: “It sounds gross.”
Me: “Have you had cornbread?”
Sister S: “Yes.”
Me: “Well, it’s the same thing, just in muffin form.”
Sister S: “Ewwww.”
Me: “What makes it ewww? It’s the same darn thing!”
Sister S: “Because I don’t like cornbread.”
Me, to Michael’s Mommy: “Can I smack [...]

Michael was itching to help me put up Christmas lights today. It’s a big job, and requires use of the much-hallowed ladder, that glorious construct that allows a person of small stature to achieve great heights.
Daddy was up on the ladder, mommy was helping out below.
“I can climb the ladder!” Michael announces, proudly.
“No, daddy is [...]

Michael’s just gotten out of his shower, and his mom is applying the finishing touches: a few spritzes of hair stuff and a quick brush.
“What are you doing, mama?” he asks, annoyed.
“Trying to make you just like daddy,” she says, brightly, parting his hair the way I do.
“What? You mean I’m going to smell like [...]

My poor, dear wife.
This morning, like so many others that have come before, she faced a dread responsibility. A wearying, nigh insurmountable task.
I could see it plainly in her posture as she mentally prepared herself, gathering her inner strength. She slowly closed her eyes, said a silent prayer, took a deep breath, and began:
“Michael, what [...]

Over the summer, Michael had a month-long vacation from his normal daycare schedule. His mom and I thought it would be good for him to have a restructuring transition period at home with each of us before heading off to kindergarten. We would provide a fairly structured routine that would include plenty of activity and [...]

Michael: “Daddy? Can I have some cat ovals?”
Daddy: “Cat ovals?”
Michael: “Yes.”
Daddy: “I don’t know what cat ovals are.”
Michael: “They’re cat ovals.”
Daddy: “That doesn’t mean anything to me. What are cat ovals?”
Michael: “caaaat… oooh… vuhls!“
Daddy: “I heard you just fine the first time. But what is a cat oval?”
Michael: “They’re yummy.”
Daddy: “I’m sure they are. But [...]