Category Archives: kids

Adapting

There are many changes going on in our lives this year.

You might recall from recent news that Michael’s mommy has a new job at a brand new hospital right near by. Gone are the days of getting up in the wee small hours to see her off. Gone is the huge long commute. And at least for the summer, she’s home for dinner every night.

And there are big changes where I work, and while I can’t really talk about them too much, I will definitely say they are very much unwelcome changes: fundamental environmental changes that have not been felt in this company since its founding. Changes that have left my co-workers and myself scratching our heads and wondering.

One of Michael’s sisters graduated from high school the other day. She’s 18 and carries the official stamp of adult validation, the brand of the education system, the certificate of childhood conclusion. Which means she’s not around the house much these days, except when she needs to do laundry or take a shower or fix her hair or ask for money or feed her boyfriend.

Our oldest daughter has a full-time job and a diploma, and only occasionally makes a visit. Michael’s next-older sister just finisher her junior year of high school, and has ambitions for college life after next year.

And poor Michael, the last, lone child in the house, facing a long and unstructured summer break, is stuck with two parents who are still reeling from the changes to home and work, trying to keep up with the rest of us as we adapt our lives to the changes swirling around us.

Change is good. It stirs up the soul and tests the mettle.

But even so, it will be very nice when everything settles again.

Bits and Pieces

This weekend was pretty much devoted to rounding up Legos.

He’d recently gotten a couple of Star Wars – themed Lego building sets and decided that it was time to start in on them.

So he did what any self-respecting kid would do: tore open each of the little plastic pouches right where he sat on the couch.

I’m not sure if you’re all aware of this, but Lego blocks are created from a special kind of material that seeks the lowest, farthest in, most inconvenient nook it can if left to its own devices. This is why when you happen to allow some of these little buggers escape your grasp, they will instantly bury themselves in whatever crevice is handy. A couch makes a perfect spot for this, as it has several strata and plenty of inaccessible crannies in which to lose things.

“Daddy! I lost some pieces!” Michael cried.

“Michael, you didn’t open these up on the couch, did you?” his mother asked.

“Yes but I have all the pieces except I lost some,” he admitted.

“Well let’s gather what you have into something solid and put them aside while we look for the pieces you lost,” his mom continued. “Really, Michael, you can’t tear into packages like that on the couch! You have to do it on a flat, hard surface where things can’t get lost,” she reprimanded.

Michael grabbed a nearby Frisbee and we used that to scoop up the pieces we could see, and we set them aside.

Digging through the couch did not immediately yield any treasures, so we had to resort to lifting the cushions.

A couple of Lego studs fell out, and maybe a block or a random character’s head.

Still some missing.

Time to turn the couch modules over completely and scour the floor. Our couch is a corner sectional unit, one we chose for its ability to simultaneously contain the posteriors of everyone who might at any one time be relaxing downstairs to enjoy the fire or the television. So it does turn over, but in four chunks.

Eventually we got the sections turned over and moved out of the way. On top of this were the cushions, bolster pillows, throw pillows, blankets and other assorted flotsam.

On the floor was quite a bit of shameful detritus not reached by the vacuum. Including a couple of Lego pieces. Not the entire contingent of missing pieces, but some.

Which meant more searching.

What made things complicated was the many battalions of green army men that Michael had deployed earlier. There were several troops arrayed in various areas, mostly flanking the fireplace and the ottoman (earlier there had been a squadron deployed along the floor between the table and the couch, but an avenging foot got tired of stepping on them and swept them out of the way). These complicated matters by making a larger array of items that needed to be picked up and put away before we could search for missing pieces, which we had to do before we could vacuum.

Michael reluctantly agreed to recall his troops. As of this writing I believe they are all still on leave.

A few more shakes of the blankets and one sweatshirt revealed the last of the missing legos.

Michael received another admonishment to be more careful, and a command to pick up every single individual Lego piece.

Eventually we were able to vacuum and restore the couch to order. By Sunday afternoon the family room looked neat as a pin, and Michael’s Lego project was safely stored in a Ziploc bag.

Last night he opened up another box and started in. This time, with a set that had four times as many pieces.

Fortunately, he did it on the carpet, not on the couch. So we only lost three pieces.

I’m going to be wearing shoes in the house until the Lego phase passes.

 

Tonsils

I suppose it was inevitable.

Michael needed his tonsils out.

They had been giving him trouble for his entire life. They were huge, and never retreated. They made it hard for him to sleep, particularly when he had a cold.

Neither his mom nor I were proponents of having tonsils removed, even though in years past that was almost standard procedure for dealing with any kind of sickness. They’re there for a reason, so we should be trying to nurse them back to health, right?

Only Michael’s weren’t responding to being nursed. Despite our best efforts, his tonsils remained troublesome, large and potentially threatening.

It came down to the decision, and we finally went ahead with it.

Last Thursday we took him to the new section of the hospital, the children’s wing. As it turned out, this was more of a staging area – when it came time for the procedure we were whisked underground via tunnel to the old hospital’s children’s surgery unit. No matter – that’s where he had his ear tubes and adenoids done.

He was a real trooper, didn’t act even a bit scared. After the surgery, we stayed right there with him for two more hours while he watched a movie and simultaneously played on his DSi. He’s a multi-media kind of kid.

We had prepared him ahead of time that it would be a rough couple of weeks (which is partly why his mom scheduled the surgery for just before spring break – so he wouldn’t miss but a couple of days of school), so he was all set for sleeping in mommy & daddy’s room, eating Popsicles and sorbet and playing all the video games he wants.

We had one rough night. The first night home, after the hospital-administered pain medication wore off, he started thrashing about around 11:45. His method of dealing with this newly discovered and sleep-breaking pain was to kick me in the spine until I woke up and ran downstairs to get the prescription pain meds.

In his sleepy, pained condition he was not up for taking medicine, and he spat most of it out. “It tastes disgusting!” he cried.

“That’s all we have, sport,” I said. He was not comforted. Which means we had to wait until at least four more hours before we could try again.

Daddy got the bright idea to bring him some ice chips instead, which worked like a charm. Soothing but non-medicinal, they kept his throat pain managed while we rode out the wait until the next medication time.

I think we got about three hours of sleep that night, which upon reflection is actually pretty good.

The next day we presented him with a new Wii video game, which he played happily for the rest of the day.

Since last weekend he’s had a remarkable recovery, reporting pretty much no throat pain at all (we think he may be fudging a bit simply because he wants to eat real solid food now, as the charm of smoothies and Popsicles has worn off).

By the time school is back in session, he should be right as rain. The same little boy, sans tonsils.

 

Toothless

If ever there was time to break back in to post, it’s now.

Here we see the classic toothless grin every kid gets to enjoy once, for a very short time in his life.

Not only is this little face just too cute for words, it’s fun to hear him say things like “Cereal” and “SpongeBob” and “Thoughtful.”

I’d like to put Michael on hold and keep him at just this age for a couple more years.

Further Proof

While brushing Michael’s teeth last night, I became acutely aware of a foreign object in his mouth; one I think he’d been hoping I wouldn’t notice. I set the brush down and leaned in for a closer look, to see a wad of indiscernible foodstuff that had been masticated beyond all hope of recognition, enrobed in a minty froth.

“Spit that out!” I said, urgently. He complied. “For crying out loud, have you been chewing that all night long?” The answer was obvious. For whatever reason he was not able or willing to chew up and swallow whatever it was.

My brow furrowed in disbelief at his re-working a bite of food for hours on end.

And then the memory came back. A similar incident. Twelve years ago. While running a bedtime bath for sister L, who was not quite three at the time, I noticed she was still working on a bite of food from dinner. Frustrated, I demanded that she chew it up and swallow it. Her expression immediately changed to one of frantic determination as her wide-eyed gaze focused on a fixed point in the distance, her fists clenched and her jaws ground that bite at top speed. After a minute of this fruitless endeavor, I heaved a sigh of resignation and told her to just spit it out, which she happily did.

Returning to Michael’s tooth brushing, I smiled, having been gently reminded that Michael has a twin, and that it’s only a phase.

Hasta La Vista, Bacon

Yesterday Michael, his mom and I drove up a short way into Washington to retrieve sister S, who’d spent a week with her dad.

Her first grand announcement as we pulled back onto the freeway headed for home:

“I’m a vegan now!”

“Good luck with that,” I replied.

See, this is a girl who only recently has maintained that she will one day be owning a combined Hot Topic / Taco Bell store. She loves steak, chicken and ice cream. She never met a piece of bacon that she didn’t like. The thought of her going one day without consuming an animal product in some form or another is by all rights absurd.

On the trip back, we prodded a little bit for more on the how, why, when and what of it.

“Who got you interested in being a vegan?”

“Mr. Sparklepants.” (Note: this is not his actual name. However, the name we were given is not any more believable.)

“And how old is Mr. Sparklepants?”

“He’s in seventh grade.”

A sterling credential if ever there was one.

“And is he a dietician?”

“No, but he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Give me an example.”

“Well, you can get all your Omega 3s and protein by eating walnuts.”

“Okay…”

“So that’s what I’ll do.”

“Just walnuts?”

“And Ramen.”

Sounds to me like she has the plan all worked out. She explained it to us with such confidence, we figure she must have notes:

“Where are you going to get your calcium?” her mom asked, after a brief pause.

“And your vitamin B?” I asked, immediately afterward.

“And your vitamin D?” her mom asked before I’d finished my question.

“I don’t know… I’ll figure it out.”

This is where we let it drop. My wife and I know when to step up for battle and when to stand down.

While we certainly support lofty goals and noble causes such as protecting animal rights, it is our job as parents to ensure that our children understand every aspect of what they’re getting themselves in to. Knowing sister S, we’re pretty sure she’s missing quite a big chunk of the picture. She latched onto one facet of the vegan lifestyle and a couple of tips and figures she’s ready to run with it.

I give it a week.

Return To Reality

Michael and his sisters and cousin are back from vacation at Grandma’s.

I drove 173 miles to pick them up, 3+ hours of driving along the mighty Columbia river through alternately verdant and barren countryside, to reach a small town whose main claim to fame is being home to one of the few remaining coal-fired power plants in the state of Oregon. It’s also a convenient midway point between our house and Grandma’s house. It has a big park, where Michael can burn off some pent-up energy and stretch his little legs before getting strapped in for the second half of his journey home.

It had been a grand week.

Michael, two sisters and a cousin were all in eastern Oregon, enjoying the relaxed pace and small-town atmosphere of the Wallowa Lake area, along with the diversions afforded by its rugged mountain features and glacier-forged landscape. One of Michael’s favorite activities was to chase crickets, of which there are plenty. His other favorite activities apparently centered around keeping his sisters in a state of high annoyance, at least by their account. With the low horizon and clear skies, his days began at the very crack of dawn, as the crimson sunrise flooded the loft room where he and his sisters bunked.

His grandmother made sure to keep him well occupied, providing trips to the lake and trips to town, adventures in the parks and up the mountains and of course plenty of busy-work to keep his little hands engaged and out of mischief. His sisters and cousins pitched in, taking shifts to ensure that grandma didn’t get overwhelmed. The daily reports his mom and I got back were quite colorful; text messages from the girls, phone conversations from Michael and his grandmother.

to wit: “Why is it that michael always wakes up at 5 AM and then chooses the LOUDEST toy in the room to play with? X(” (this from sister L)

And from his grandmother, a report about Michael at the lake: “He told me he had to go to the bathroom really bad, but said he couldn’t make it back up the hill to the potty so I told him he’d just have to use the lake. So he comes out of the water, stands up on the shore and starts pulling down his shorts…”

Meanwhile, at home, Michael’s mom and I spent a week in a quiet house. The only noise came from the cat, who was VERY CONCERNED that all of her people were disappearing, and wanted to BE SURE WE UNDERSTOOD HER CONCERN. Repeatedly, every ten minutes or so.

We did a whole lot of nothing, which was wonderful. We didn’t paint anyone’s room, we didn’t re-work the garden or re-decorate the house, and we didn’t travel.

Well… not much. We did go to the beach for one day, spending the night at a bed-and-breakfast inn along the coast. This place was magical on all counts, and we’ll be back one day. For one thing, they had a guests-only wine social the afternoon we checked in. They handed us a couple of glasses of wine and pointed out a couple of forest trails behind the inn, encouraging us to explore, which we did. Never before had either of us hiked through the forest holding a glass of wine.

The dinner we had that night was truly amazing. Neither of us had ever had an “amuse bouche” before either, the sort of pre-appetizer course they served. To say dinner was good would be to say the ocean is deep.

But time marched onward, and she and I both had to get back to our normal occupations.

Thus on Sunday, while she was at work, I drove alone to the middle of Oregon to pick up children.

After transferring bags and blankets and assorted gear from Grandma’s car to ours, and a few hugs goodbye, we were on our way back to Portland.

And even though I’d had a week to recuperate, any vestige of parental patience I’d gained was quite deftly erased after fifteen minutes in the car.

I can’t wait for school to start.

Silence, please!

We’re watching “Shrek The Third” at Michael’s request.

As usual, he’s watching it mainly with his mouth:

“Why he’s green?”

“What’s the cat doing?”

“Where are they going?”

“The donkey is mad.”

“Shrek has a big hand. He’s loud, too.”

And on, and on, and on. From the first frame, Michael continued to make observations, ask questions, and make his internal dialog very loudly external.

Finally, sister S had had enough:

“Michael! Can’t you be quiet for just one minute?”

“SHHHHH!” Michael scolded her. “I’m trying to concentrate!”

Yeah. How rude of his sister to interrupt his concentration.

The Michael Filter

Today, Michael presents a useful tool for five-year-olds everywhere.

Hey, kids! Michael here. You know when your parents glare at you with the angry face and words are coming out of their mouths but you really don’t know what they mean? Me too! I’ve done some studying and I think I have a few of their phrases figured out. You can try these yourself and see how well they work.

Parent says: “Come down stairs now and eat your breakfast!”
It means: “Please stand in the doorway of my bedroom and repeatedly lock, unlock, shut and open the door.”

Parent says: “Do not pick up the cat!”
It means: “Pick up the cat by her midsection and rake her panic-induced claws across your sister’s knees.”

Parent says: “Okay, sport. You need to nap for at least two hours. Got that?”
It means: “Just lie here for a minute or so, then get up and run around in your room, being sure to distribute books and toys evenly across the floor for the next thirty minutes, then go to the door and call out that you’re done with your nap.”

Parent says: “It’s only six o’clock, and it’s Saturday! It’s way too early for you to be getting up!”
It means: “I’m glad you’re up! I’ve been so bored just lying here in bed. Now we can watch SpongeBob and eat Froot Loops and Pop Tarts and make noise and turn the couch over and build a fort and…” (ed: actually, that does sound kind of fun…)

Parent says: “Eat your dinner.”
It means: “Pick at your chicken a little, blow bubbles in your chocolate milk, drop your fork on the floor and plug your nose because you swear someone at the table is eating cheese.”

Parent says: “Get in the car seat and buckle up.”
It means: “Stand next to the car and play your Leapster.”

Parent says (while sister is reclining on couch): “Please stop bothering your sister!”
It means: “Place three pillows and a blanket on your sister’s face and then climb up on them and crow like a rooster.”

I hope you find these phrase translations useful. I promise you’ll get your parents’ attention!

Moving Up

Last night Michael, his mom and I went to his Kindergarten orientation.

It marks the start of his public school career; the point where he is added to the official rolls of a brick-and-mortar learning institution.

He is growing up.

He could have started Kindergarten last year. In fact, we had signed him up. But his mom and I decided that for his sake (and the sake of the other students) we’d keep him back just one more year to let him get fully socialized. We instead enrolled him in a private, in-home school that covers the gamut of preschool and pre-k learning. In essence, he’d be getting a Kindergarten education, but under much more concentrated scrutiny and nurture.

We figured we could make the decision at some point during this year as to whether we felt he was ready to move on to first grade, or whether he should start out in public Kindergarten.

We decided the latter. It was not an easy choice, but we think it’s the right one for Michael’s well being. He’s smart enough that in some future time he might be moved up a grade, so we hold out that possibility.

At the start of his orientation last night, we were introduced to the teachers, the principal, the parent volunteers, the school nurse, the administrative assistants and others who would be regulars in our child’s daily life.

Then, only ten minutes into the assembly, they called the children into two groups and ushered them out the door with the teachers to go see their classrooms.

We parents stayed behind and had time to hear the “grown-up” stuff.

But as Michael left, with not even a glance back over his shoulder, I couldn’t help but notice his mom’s eyes were just every so slightly welled up with tears. She was obviously feeling a mournful loss.

Her little boy isn’t so little any more.

As the evening progressed, we met with the nurse to go over Michael’s history of seizures and storage of his emergency medication. We met with the administrative assistants to talk about transportation and after school care. We met with the principal to introduce ourselves and suggest that we’d probably be seeing a lot of each other in the next few years.

Then we went back to the Kindergarten rooms to pick up the kids. Upon seeing us, Michael came out to loudly proclaim what he’d learned about Guinea Pigs, about how they think your fingers are carrots, and that they poop a lot.

He was having no problem getting used to a whole new school, a new class, new classmates, a new teacher, a new beginning.

He’s moving up, and it’s something that he’ll keep right on doing.

And it’s a good thing, even if it is a little sad.