Category Archives: memories

How Do You Spell Irony?

Sunday was a day of adventure, as we had decided to take our old fire extinguisher to the fire station and get it checked out. We learned that the dry chemical kind we had was not rechargeable, but it was probably past its prime since it was about eight years old and, according to one firefighter, had all of the solid stuff in a wad down on the bottom (he could tell by turning it over a few times). They told us we should just buy a new one.

That sounded like a good plan.

After all, we’d be sure to have a fire if we didn’t have a fire extinguisher, right? I mean, that’s how things work: if you’re prepared for a situation, that situation won’t occur.

The rest of the day consisted mainly of journeying afar to the ye olde dump, only to discover that the hazardous waste area, where one would ordinarily recycle one’s old fire extinguishers, is closed on Sunday. We went to a burger place instead and got lemonade.

Once home, and after installing the new extinguisher, I took Michael outside to the back yard with the old extinguisher to demonstrate their operation.

“See? Just squeeze here and let it shoot!” We blasted the old garden area (which is now just a very large cat box) with a healthy layer of yellow powder. Michael was sufficiently impressed, and then asked if he could be dismissed so he could go back in and play some Zombie Apocalypse game on his DS.

Fast forward to Monday evening. Daddy had arrived home only minutes before, and after depositing keys and wallet and other accoutrements, plopped his carcass down on the couch to “rest up” before getting dinner going.

That’s when daddy noticed smoke in the back yard.

“Michael? Go look out the window and see where that smoke is coming from, please.”

He went to the window and squinted. It was hard to see with the sun blaring through – something we are definitely not used to here.

“I can’t see. It’s too bright.”

“Probably someone barbecuing,” I said, and thought nothing more of it.

A few minutes later – I saw more smoke. A lot more smoke. It seemed to be coming from the yard behind ours, near the corner by the play structure.

“That’s a lot of smoke…” I said to no one in particular.

I arose from my recumbent position and went to the window. That’s when I saw flames licking the fence. Big flames, reaching a couple of feet higher than the fence itself.

It took me a moment or two to realize that this was no barbecue, and that no one was out there tending to the fire – this was a blaze, and it was spreading.

“The fence is on fire!” I yelled.

“Get the fire extinguisher!” my wife yelled in response.

I ran to grab it. The brand-new fire extinguisher, less than 24 hours in its place, was called into active duty.

“Call the fire department!” I yelled as I hurried out the back door. As I ran I could see the flames reaching the lowest branches of our tree. I still couldn’t tell where it was coming from exactly, but it was definitely on the fence that separates our next door neighbor from the house behind us both. I stood at the corner where the fences meet and I let loose with the dry chemical spray, shooting over the fence and hoping I was making a difference.

In no time at all the extinguisher was used up, but the flames persisted. Luckily I had the old one we tested the day before. I grabbed that one and squeezed off a blast – and nothing came out at all.

Disgusted, I dropped the extinguisher and ran toward the house to grab the hose. I could hear my wife on the phone talking to the 911 operator. Then she asked me: “How far is it from the house?”

“At the lot line! About 25 feet!” I called back, yanking the hose reel off the house, opening the spigot and pulling the hose across the deck and out toward the fire, which by this time had resumed its destructive fury.

I managed to get a good spray over the fence, and saw billows of steam pouring out of the neighbor’s yard. It was then that I had the brilliant idea of standing on the play structure that was right there.

Jumping up on the lowest platform, I could easily see the problem area, and determine exactly what was going on.

While I sprayed down the fence, the culprit became obvious. Up against the fence, in my next door neighbor’s yard, was a compost bin. It was entirely blackened and covered in ashes. Near it was a plastic flower pot that had melted on the side nearest the bin. Next to it was another wooden planter that was charred on the side closest to the bin. All around the bin were signs of heat and fire, particularly on the fence.

Scorched

I continued to spray as I heard the fire engines pull up.

Apparently, the compost bin had ignited the fire by spontaneous combustion. I’d read about it, but never actually witnessed it in action. The composting action naturally creates heat, but if it can’t escape it climbs to the ignition point – and sparks a fire.

When the firefighters arrived, I had the flames put out and was just soaking the area to prevent any further flare-ups.firetruck

“Looks like you did our job for us! Good work!” they said. Michael and my wife joined me on the play structure to gawk at the action going on next door.

The firefighters assessed the situation,  used their axe to knock down the loose and charred fence boards, and hosed the area down further. One of them got a shovel and turned the compost over a few times. Another walked up with a thermal camera and began scanning the area for hot spots. I explained to Michael what was going on, how the fire started, and what the firemen were doing to make sure it was all safe.firemen

By this time my neighbor had arrived and was talking with the firefighters. With the situation under control and pictures taken, we hopped off the play structure and ambled back in the house, reliving the highlights of the excitement.

I expected my neighbor to come over and talk to me about it later, at least to find out whether or not there might have been some other cause for the fire, but he never did.

So – would it be considered ironic that a fire breaks out on the day after we get a brand new fire extinguisher, to replace the one we’ve had for eight years and never used?

Probably not. But I will let the pedants out there discuss the true definition of irony.

Extinguished

Punny Boy

It’s bedtime, and we’re upstairs brushing teeth.

Michael has had evidently been bitten by an exceedingly large wiggle bug because he won’t hold still while I attempt to maneuver the spinning brush around his teeth.

He gives one spectacular lurch and the brush is pushed out of his mouth completely, then goes skittering along his cheek.

“Hold still! I almost brushed your eye that time,” I said.

“Well, if you did, then at least I’d have good oral EYE-giene!” he replied without missing a beat.

Ding Dong

Yesterday was a particularly lazy day. Having completed our weekend cleaning chores the previous two days, we opted to observe President’s Day by doing essentially nothing at all: caught up on some episodes of “Avatar: The Last Airbender”, enjoyed a mid-day cup of coffee, assisted Michael in the upgrade of Minecraft to include the Angry Birds texture pack, etc. Important stuff like that.

We (and by that I mean my wife) decided that Michael and I should get hair cuts, since we were looking pretty shaggy.

Right across from the haircut place is Michael’s favorite pizza restaurant, and as we crossed the parking lot he looked over at it longingly.

“You want pizza for lunch? We can do that,” his mom said. This perked him right up. He sat through his haircut patiently, with only minimal wiggling. After completing mine and settling the monetary aspect of the transaction, we headed out and over to the pizza place.

“It’ll be about fifteen minutes,” said the waitress after taking our order. We decided to walk around the shopping complex to kill time.

Just to be sure, I got out my iPhone and set the timer to go off after twelve minutes.

Now… I know how to use my phone’s functions pretty well. I’d say I’m at a Brown Belt level: not a novice, but by no means a master. So I didn’t give it a lot of thought when I pressed the “Start” button and casually noted that the alarm type was set to “Doorbell”

“Hmmm… Doorbell sounds nice,” I thought.

And off we went on our walk. We sauntered around the building, down past an insurance place, another barber, a paint-it-yourself ceramics place and a Subway… then crossed a roadway and circled back up around a dentist office and a fitness center.

I glanced down at my phone and noticed that it was about time to head back to the pizza place, so we plodded on down the stairs and across the parking lot.

I opened the door and let Michael and his mom in. The door chimed announcing our entry. I checked with the waitress while Michael and his mom headed back to the video games.

“It’ll be out in just a couple of minutes,” she said.

The doorbell kept chiming. I looked to see if the door was partially open, but no.

I walked down to where my family was. The doorbell kept chiming, but this time I heard it from the back door.

“It’ll be just a couple of minutes,” I told them.

“Okay. Michael’s perfectly happy,” my wife said.

Meanwhile, the doorbell just wouldn’t quit. For some reason, the staff wasn’t concerned about it at all.

As I made my way back to the front of the restaurant, the sound of the doorbell seemed to keep changing position: it was in the back of the restaurant a minute ago, now it’s up above by the television screen, and now it’s right by the front door.

The waitress, obviously overworked and unsure of my presence, asked me if she could help me with something.

“No, I’m just waiting for our pizza.”

“Oh, okay,” she said and went back to dressing a salad and pouring some sodas.

“The doorbell keeps going off,” I said. “Like it’s stuck or something.”

She smiled and looked at me somewhat confused, and turned to listen to the sound of the bell that apparently only I could hear, despite the fact that it was loud and clear. In fact, it now seemed to be coming from the food preparation area.

“Geez, this would drive me nuts,” I said to no one in particular. It was getting to the point where I wanted to fix it myself.

The pizza finally was put up, and after paying for it and calling to my family, we headed back to the car. I held the door open with one hand and balanced the pizza with the other.

Once outside, I noticed that the sound of the doorbell was every bit as loud as it was inside the restaurant.

“My gosh,” I said. “Does that doorbell go everywhere?”

“What?” My wife asked, looking at me confused.

We walked to the car, the doorbell continuing to chime. The sound never dimming. The sound continuing to follow me.

Following me.

Like it was my own personal doorbell.

I suddenly realized what was going on, and starting laughing.

“What’s so funny?” my wife asked.

“The doorbell sound – it’s me!” I pulled out my phone, and there was the timer, dutifully alerting me to the lapse of time that I’d requested, chiming away like a doorbell, just as I’d specified.

I turned it off, and wiped away the tears of laughter as I got in the car. My wife looked at me and shook her head.

“You’re a real ding-dong, for sure,” she said.

Yes, but I’m her ding-dong.

The Best Laid Plans

…sometimes work out just great!

Sherman, set the wayback machine to 2008. We were in a bit of a bind regarding the future of my wife’s employment. Suffice it to say, she needed to quickly escape a destructive work environment.

Since she’s a nurse with some years of experience, it should have been fairly easy for her to find a position at another hospital.

As it turned out, there wasn’t much available.

What we did find, though, was rumor of a new hospital being planned for the area close to our home; potentially with in bike riding distance. It was slated to open in five years. After much dialog and prayer, we decided that she should try to hire on with the same company at a hospital facility across town. It would mean a substantial commute, but the payoff could potentially be a solid foot in the door when the new facility opened up near us.

She submitted her application and was hired. Her new job was a good solid fit and she was happy with it. The drive can be a killer some times, and it invariably tacks at least an hour and a half on her day, on a good day. More often than not the trip is an hour each way: taking surface streets to reach the freeway, traversing five freeways and several bridges of choking traffic. I spent any number of nights worried about numbskull drivers out there on the road that might smash into her at some point.

We kept checking on the progress of the new hospital, scouring the internet for any hint of news: a ping on a construction blog in one place, another ping on a financial newsletter somewhere else… over the years the rumors turned into plans, the plans turned into announcements, and eventually the announcements turned into construction. “Baby steps to 2013,” we’d tell each other. “Baby steps to 2013…”

For the last two years we would watch as the site was prepared, foundations poured, steel welded and siding affixed. Then the landscaping went in, building decorations and signs. The new hospital was definitely there, and rapidly approaching completion.

Then last autumn the word went out to employees: the new facility was accepting applications! She applied, and we waited… and prayed.

Just a few days ago, the call came: she was hired on at the new facility, to start in May!

Her new travel time? Five minutes. Maybe ten if traffic is bad.

Much Closer

Sometimes, God smiles and says yes.

Calling it like it is

I do my share of cooking in our home. This is partly out of necessity, since my dear wife works odd hours and some days comes home very late, and thus it falls upon my shoulders to provide sustenance to the family. This generally means preparing some sort of meal, and serving it in some manner that involves utensils and a table, and maybe a napkin if we’re feeling fancy. It would probably not be well-received by her or the community were I to allow the children to prowl the house like feral beasts foraging for food. I’m sure my wife would not be pleased to come home to find Michael hunched in the corner chowing down on dry spaghetti noodles, only pausing to growl at her.

Truth be told I have been known to enjoy cooking now and then. I’ve developed what I believe to be a particularly good recipe for pizza sauce, and with my homemade crust can turn out a darn good pizza. I know how to cook all the basic stuff: hamburgers, steak, salmon, stir-fried vegetables, and the like. I have created a few of my own recipes as well.

For instance, many years ago when I was cooking for just myself and my two daughters, I worked out a recipe for chicken that they both loved. It basically involves a very flavorful marinade for the chicken, one that reduces down and gives it a savory taste.

My kids called it “Daddoo’s Chicken”. I liked that name and it stuck for a while.

I shared the recipe with a friend, and they gave it the more culinary name of “Pere Poulet.” I was fond of this name as well.

When I married my wife, my stepdaughter (before she turned vegetarian) discovered she liked this dish as well and dubbed it “Famous Chicken”

They really liked it (with the exception of that one time) and the names they gave it showed.

Michael was eventually introduced to my signature dish.

The verdict? He likes it too! In fact, he usually asks for seconds. What more could I ask for?

He even gave it his own new name: “Bark Chip Chicken.”

So it went from being “Famous” to resembling bark chips.

Well… at least he eats it.

Dish Pile

It’s been 22 days since we last had a working dishwasher.

22 ceiling-high piles of pots, pans, plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons and other sundry utensils and vessels.

Every day we plow through the Dr. Seuss-style stacks of cups and saucers, bowls and trays, every day we vow to never cook or eat again, and every day we make more dirty dishes.

We have teenagers in the house… but if we left it up to them, they’d only get done when every last item in the kitchen was soiled and all of the finger foods were gone. And even so, those times we’ve trusted the washing to them, on closer inspection of the finished product we’d invariably encounter rejects, at about a 20% rate. I don’t like the help so much that I’d take the dysentery that goes with it.

But last week the new part arrived. The one that is supposed to be the cure-all.

And tomorrow the Sears guy is supposed to come out and fix the thing.

So by my calculations, this will give us another five months of dishwasher use before it breaks down again, based upon the ever-shrinking operational window it’s been providing since we bought it.

We’re biding our time. As soon as the extended maintenance agreement expires, this dishwasher is history.

Priorities

We have a new fence separating us from our neighbors to the north.

This has been something we’ve long desired, as the old fence pretty much fell apart in 2004 and has been held up with bailing wire and chewing gum ever since. These particular neighbors on the other side of the rapidly disintegrating fence are ones that I’ve mentioned before using less than favorable descriptors. In a word, they’re unkind. When I asked Mr. neighbor whether he’d help pay for a new fence, I was given a sob story about how he had to pay for the other fences and “nobody would help”. But he graciously deigned to kick in a small amount toward the bottom line, an offer I readily accepted.

The contractor had it done in two days: tear out and new posts on day one, stringers and boards and clean-up the next day. Done.

The new fence is very nice: solid, tall and best of all – no cracks or holes. This will help block that wretched cigar smoke that always wafts our way. I swear this guy buys cigars by the gross and smokes them morning, noon and night right next to our property line. Too bad there’s no homeowner’s association bylaws against fouling the air with odors. Maybe I could find a way to retaliate in a similar manner, albeit using burritos and broccoli. Hmmm…

Anyway, we’re happy with the new fence.

The downside is that it depleted our reserves, something we fully expected, living on a budget as most do.

I don’t think Michael appreciates this budget, or how his mom and I choose to direct our funds.

While driving on an errand last Saturday, we passed by the bowling alley where we had taken the family a couple of times before. Michael has fond memories of the video games and (more importantly) the gift shop there.

“Can we go bowling? Is that the place right there? I wanna go!!!” he asked, pressing his face against his window and slathering ravenously.

“We’ll go again some day, kiddo, but not today,” I said. “We don’t have the money.”

“We have enough money for food and clothes and for going to Disneyland,” he reasoned.

“That’s true,” I said, “but we don’t go to Disneyland every year. Just some times. Going to Disneyland costs a lot of money.”

“Your daddy and I work hard to get the money we have,” his mom chimed in, “but it only goes so far. This summer we needed to get a new fence put in so that’s where we spent what we had been saving,” his mom said.

He thought about it for a long time.

“Maybe you should work harder,” he said.

Tales of Carmichael: The Back Yard and the Flowering Pine

The back yard that flanked our little 1950’s-era tract home seemed virtually boundless, to my fuzzy recollection. Using an aerial view, it measures just under 350 square yards; not exactly huge.

But how many wonders it contained. This small space was a marvelous universe, a creative wonderland with many personalities.

 

It was a habitat

The back yard was roaming grounds to many different pets. Throughout the years it contained a succession of four or five dogs, one of which was my own. There were eight or nine rabbits of various breeds, a one-eyed box turtle named Ulysses whom the neighbor dog liked to pick up in his mouth from time to time (how he kept getting out of the yard we never did figure out), and if I am to believe the stories, ducks.

The rabbits liked the yard. We kept them in cages we built ourselves, and despite the copious amounts of their odorous “by product”, we managed to keep their cage areas fairly clean. Occasionally we’d allow them to roam freely around the yard, under our watchful eye. It was nice to watch them frolic, kicking their back feet high into the air. They would sometimes scamper under the deck but could usually be lured out by carrots or lettuce coupled with patience. The neighborhood wildlife was particularly fond of our rabbits, though, and managed to find ways of opening their cages. This always meant a grim discovery and a period of time without rabbits. We always assumed it was cats that did it, but either way we eventually gave up trying to keep rabbits at all.

It its early days, the yard boasted a dense lawn. Over time the grass was gradually worn away, until my dog (an Irish Setter) destroyed what few tufts of greenery were left. This dog had a peculiar but apparently joyous ritual he’d undertake in the evenings when mom would bring her small glass of wine outside to sit in the hammock held up by the leaning pine. He would frolic about the yard along a specific circuit, brainlessly barking into the sky and flinging dog drool in all directions. I could never understand the purpose of that habit. We eventually paved the entire lawn area with decomposed granite.

 

 It was a theater

The deck that wrapped around the back side of the house was my space ship, an intergalactic vessel that would take me on many adventures battling aliens and evil robots. I imagined it with a bridge, a main deck, an engine room and crew’s quarters.

In later years, when I purchased a super-8 movie camera, the yard turned into the set for nearly all of my experimental special effects films, most of which centered around lasers “blasting” whatever objects I could find, such as tires, crates, cinder blocks or left over lumber.

My older brothers put on several dramatic Halloween productions, complete with zombies, mummies, a vampire and a werewolf. These were portrayed by actors gleaned from the abundant stock of neighborhood kids, with my oldest brother usually playing the part of an undead civil war soldier. I was too young to participate in the performance, so I was relegated to watching and being used as a fright gauge. My favorite rehearsal rendition was when my brother begrudgingly allowed the actors to inject humor into the action. At one point, when a corpse rose out of the leaves and yawned and cursed his alarm clock for letting him oversleep, I laughed so hard I thought I’d pass out. Meanwhile my brother would be rubbing his temples in frustration, fretting about whether his production would ever match his dreams.

 

It was a refuge

There were at least two tree forts in the back yard, as well as other nooks and caverns created by myself or my brothers. I knew of at least two underground forts, one of which was accessible only by a narrow tunnel that I could never bring myself to crawl through, despite my brothers’ assurances that they would help keep me from getting stuck. Since I never ventured inside, I never experienced its majesty personally… but I was told that it was wondrously expansive, with side tunnels and room for several people at once. It also held a treasure box filled with various sorts of wealth.  The fort eventually caved in after a particularly heavy rainstorm. The treasure box and the other items that were kept down there were never recovered.

At the fence corner was a large Pampas Grass plant, easily eight feet tall and just as large in diameter. My brothers had burrowed into it along the fence line, creating a hiding place between the grass and the fence corner. If you could stand getting sliced by the razor-sharp grass getting in and out of the place, it made a nice little fort.

Near the corner of the yard was a pine tree. It started out as a live Christmas tree then was planted in the back yard. It suffered some insult one year causing it to lean over severely. From then on it grew out of the ground at a 45 degree angle for some distance before curving to upright. The size of the tree and the angle of its trunk made it a fairly simple matter to climb. In fact, there was no need to climb it at all: one could simply get up speed and run up the trunk to get to the lowest branches, and clamber up the rest of the distance the traditional way. Climbing to almost the top of this tree brought you to a small tree fort, consisting mainly of a thick scrap of plywood as a floor and not much else. It sat nestled in a division in the tree trunk, where it grew in what amounted to two separate trunks. Because the tree grew out and over the fence line, this fort actually sat directly over our neighbor’s living room. I’m sure they had no small amount of concern that one day one of those neighbor boys would come crashing right through the ceiling. It was a tough climb, but it was a marvelous place to achieve solitude, and to see an unobstructed, panoramic view of Carmichael.

 

It was a Mid-Century Modern Shangri La

Soon after moving in, my mom and dad created a wonderful patio area. There was a lush little fern grotto up against the side of the house next to the dining room window. This was surrounded by natural stones and aluminum tiki torches. The patio itself was paved with large, exposed-aggregate concrete pavers set in a large grid pattern so common to that time. One grid square was unfilled, and served as a built-in fire pit. This was flanked by two butterfly chairs. It could have easily graced the pages of Sunset magazine, in all of its 1959 glory. I can imagine my parents entertaining family and friends here on mild evenings. I recall relaxing by the fire on that patio a few times, though I don’t believe we ever got the tiki torches to work. Eventually tree roots forced the square pavers into a perilously undulating landscape. We had to tear them up and try to relevel them, but we never could get them to lie flat again.

 

It was a mystery

I seldom ventured into the east end of the yard; it had the feeling of being beyond the habitable borders of civilization, for no particular reason. Nothing really grew there except a Mimosa (or Silk Tree to our parlance). Eventually it succumbed to a mysterious disease and it withered and died, rendering that part of the yard a barren wasteland surrounding a dead tree trunk. Eventually we tore the tree out and dug a Koi pond, and transformed that area into a private patio for the master bedroom remodel.

 

It was a jungle

The greatest feature of this back yard was, in my estimation, the wisteria.

My mom and dad had planted a wisteria vine in a pot in the front yard to grace the entrance. As it grew, it aggressively grabbed unwary visitors with its tendrils, so my parents decided it would do better in the back yard. They planted it up against the deck.

The wisteria flourished, scaled the deck railings and overhangs in no time, and then aimed its grabby little tendrils for the trees.

It really liked the trees. Once established there, the vine could extend its reach practically without limit.

And as that leaning pine grew up, so did the wisteria. The pine, the wisteria and the ash tree in the back were all linked together in a thickening jungle of vines. It was a veritable highway in the trees, forming junctions and thoroughfares through branches at many different heights.

Thick, heavy vines. Vines that would easily support the weight of an adventurous kid.

Thus began my explorations into the trees, well beyond 50 feet off the ground. It provided an easy means of getting on the roof of the house, a quick corridor to the tree fort I mentioned earlier, and access to other locations in the trees that were also perfect for building more tree forts. I had access to a veritable mid-air city.

Another side effect of this exuberant growth was the wisteria blossoms. Every spring, thousands of beautiful lavender wisteria blossoms could be seen growing from the highest points of the pine tree. It was the tallest tree for miles around, and since it displayed these completely inscrutable blooms each spring, it became known as the flowering pine, a landmark to the neighborhood.

At some point it became apparent that the vine would not last forever. With that in mind, I set about the task of recording the splendor that was the vine in full bloom, from ground level to the very heights it could reach. Armed with my super-8 movie camera, I shot about two minutes of film in an attempt to capture the magnificence that was the Flowering Pine.

The vine died many years ago, as did that pine tree. My mother sold the house in 1998. Fortunately she passed on to me a seedling from that vine, and I have that seedling growing in my back yard right now.

Here, I present the film that I shot thirty years ago.

Some notes:

1)      I apologize for the nausea-inducing camera movement. I didn’t really grasp the importance of keeping a shot steady.

2)      The film starts out being shot from standing on the ground, moves to the high tree fort, and then ends up at the very top of the tree.

3) Music really makes a difference in a film’s feeling, especially simple ones like this.

4) Most of my super-8 movies came out so dark that it was hard to watch them. Thus, all of the old movies I had converted to video, like this one, are given the production name “Nearly Dark Films”

5)      Just thinking about being up that high without any safety harness makes me a little queasy. I’m not sure why I was so unfazed by it when I was younger.

Thus Ends First Grade

I just love June in Oregon. The chilly weather, the intermittent downpours, the falling leaves… All these are a harbinger of summer, that short little cluster of days (three, I think) when we can count on some warm, dry, sunny weather.

The other thing about June, something I don’t particularly like, is the end of school. With school out, the nights will be resplendent with roaming, aimless teenagers making loud noises directly outside of our windows until the wee hours. Because they can. And there seems to be an endless supply of teenagers in our neighborhood, and they all drive noisy cars, and they are all compelled to speak at or above 120 decibels after 10:00 PM, and they can never settle on which place to hang out, which causes them to make many comings and goings into the aforementioned wee hours. It is enough to make one contemplate moving into a retirement community before one is 50.

For our district, today is the last day of the school year. Michael is wrapping up his tour of duty as a first grader.

He’s bittersweet about it. He has, over the course of the year, expressed some reluctance to go to school, wishing instead to stay home with mommy and play his games. But he usually enjoys himself when he is at school, returning reports at the end of the day about how he played with one friend or another, and chattering about things he’d learned that day. So we know he likes being there, despite what he might tell us on weekday mornings.

This morning his older sister, before she dashed out the door to blast through her last day as a high school Junior, tried very hard to draw Michael into paralleling her own giddy disposition, pointing out specifically that it’s the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL and AREN’T YOU SO GLAD TO BE FREE and WE WILL PLAY AND WATCH TV ALL DAY!

She somehow doesn’t grasp the fact that her idea of enjoying herself, which consists of wearing a long rut in the couch and flipping through channels, is nowhere near what his idea of fun is. He would rather dress up in his Tron costume and throw Identity Discs at bad guys (this usually means me) or erect fire-shooting cannon booby traps to catch unwary interlopers (again, usually me) or do some other physical activity involving another person (which is me if I’m not busy with one of a bazillion other priorities such as making dinner or bandaging my foot from stepping on one of his booby traps). I’m sure his sister had visions of one hundred and four days of Michael lying on one section of the couch and playing his DSi while she lies on the other and flips channels, each of them wearing through their assigned section of couch cushions.

Michael hasn’t handled the last couple of weeks well, knowing that the paralyzing reality of unstructured, virtually limitless time is practically upon him.

He likes order. He likes routine. He likes to have boundaries to push against. The thought of having none of those makes him uneasy.

As such, he’s been having difficulty falling asleep. He’s had difficulty controlling his impulses at school. He’s been feeling a non-specific malaise lately, and has had more than a couple of emotional meltdowns.

Fortunately, we were prepared for this. His mom signed him up with a summer program that will carry him through all three months of summer. This program will provide him with daily structure, with activities and with friends enough to keep his little heart and mind satisfied and happy. We’re anticipating a little bit of transitional distress as he settles into his summer schedule, but we’re confident he’ll enjoy himself and have his need for routine satisfied. Plus we have swimming to look forward to, in an outdoor pool, with his favorite swimming teacher. I think he’s going to have a good summer.

Of course, with Michael safely ensconced elsewhere, this means his poor sister will have to work on that couch rut all on her own. I think she’s up to the challenge.

 

Tonsils

I suppose it was inevitable.

Michael needed his tonsils out.

They had been giving him trouble for his entire life. They were huge, and never retreated. They made it hard for him to sleep, particularly when he had a cold.

Neither his mom nor I were proponents of having tonsils removed, even though in years past that was almost standard procedure for dealing with any kind of sickness. They’re there for a reason, so we should be trying to nurse them back to health, right?

Only Michael’s weren’t responding to being nursed. Despite our best efforts, his tonsils remained troublesome, large and potentially threatening.

It came down to the decision, and we finally went ahead with it.

Last Thursday we took him to the new section of the hospital, the children’s wing. As it turned out, this was more of a staging area – when it came time for the procedure we were whisked underground via tunnel to the old hospital’s children’s surgery unit. No matter – that’s where he had his ear tubes and adenoids done.

He was a real trooper, didn’t act even a bit scared. After the surgery, we stayed right there with him for two more hours while he watched a movie and simultaneously played on his DSi. He’s a multi-media kind of kid.

We had prepared him ahead of time that it would be a rough couple of weeks (which is partly why his mom scheduled the surgery for just before spring break – so he wouldn’t miss but a couple of days of school), so he was all set for sleeping in mommy & daddy’s room, eating Popsicles and sorbet and playing all the video games he wants.

We had one rough night. The first night home, after the hospital-administered pain medication wore off, he started thrashing about around 11:45. His method of dealing with this newly discovered and sleep-breaking pain was to kick me in the spine until I woke up and ran downstairs to get the prescription pain meds.

In his sleepy, pained condition he was not up for taking medicine, and he spat most of it out. “It tastes disgusting!” he cried.

“That’s all we have, sport,” I said. He was not comforted. Which means we had to wait until at least four more hours before we could try again.

Daddy got the bright idea to bring him some ice chips instead, which worked like a charm. Soothing but non-medicinal, they kept his throat pain managed while we rode out the wait until the next medication time.

I think we got about three hours of sleep that night, which upon reflection is actually pretty good.

The next day we presented him with a new Wii video game, which he played happily for the rest of the day.

Since last weekend he’s had a remarkable recovery, reporting pretty much no throat pain at all (we think he may be fudging a bit simply because he wants to eat real solid food now, as the charm of smoothies and Popsicles has worn off).

By the time school is back in session, he should be right as rain. The same little boy, sans tonsils.