The part of each weekday morning that I dislike the most is, without question, assembling Michael’s lunch. I’ve mentioned this before.
Yesterday’s episode went like this:
Daddy: “Michael, what do you want for lunch?”
Michael: (no response whatsoever)
Daddy: “Sometime today, please.”
Mommy: “How about fish fingers?”
Michael: “Yeah, fish fingers. That sounds good.”
Daddy: “How many?”
Michael: “Five. Five is good.”
Daddy: “Five [...]

I really need to buy myself a sense of humor.
The fact that my wife laughed at my irritation this morning is a clue upon which I ought to ruminate at length.
You see, I was in a rush to get out the door. This is my normal operating mode on any given weekday.
I knew Michael was [...]

Vacation is officially over. It’s time to head back to work, school and other standard occupations.
After we’ve fully enjoyed the holidays, we are curtly shoved out into the dark, dour epoch that stretches on until the next official holiday. We must endure a cold, bleak existence until February, when we come skidding up to Valentine’s [...]

I’m sitting on the couch, trying to pretend I’m not awake yet.
Michael suddenly runs to the bathroom to grab a wet wipe, and quickly returns and starts scrubbing down his little plastic slide.
“Don’t worry, daddy. I’ll get the germs off.”
“What?”
“It’s on the slide, right there,” he points to a black smudge at the end [...]

Michael’s just gotten out of his shower, and his mom is applying the finishing touches: a few spritzes of hair stuff and a quick brush.
“What are you doing, mama?” he asks, annoyed.
“Trying to make you just like daddy,” she says, brightly, parting his hair the way I do.
“What? You mean I’m going to smell like [...]

My poor, dear wife.
This morning, like so many others that have come before, she faced a dread responsibility. A wearying, nigh insurmountable task.
I could see it plainly in her posture as she mentally prepared herself, gathering her inner strength. She slowly closed her eyes, said a silent prayer, took a deep breath, and began:
“Michael, what [...]

It was one of those mornings.
Michael was tired. He’d had a busy and exciting weekend at Grandma’s, had a long journey home yesterday with no nap, and he was in no mood to get back into the routine.
He didn’t want to go to school, and daddy was late as it was.
“C’mon, Michael. We have [...]

This morning Michael’s Mommy left early for a dentist appointment, leaving me with Michael and two of his sisters snoozing away.
The plan was that one or both sisters would be in charge of Michael in between the time I left for work and his mom got home.
Luckily for his sisters, the little guy defied his [...]

Saturday morning. Michael and I are fresh out of the shower, and Michael spies our new bathroom scale. Up until recently, we haven’t had one.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“It’s a scale,” his mom says, and she pulls it out from under the chair with her foot.
“What’s it do?” Michael asks.
“You weigh yourself. Here, get on.” She [...]

Why is it so hard to get a straight answer from a four-year-old?
Michael came bounding downstairs just a few minutes ago, ready to start the day.
“Okay, Michael. What would you like to eat?” I asked him.
“Can I watch something?”
“You know the rules, sport. You have to be ready to go first. Dressed and fed. Then [...]